Navigating Loss and Grief Through Therapy-Grief Therapy in Denver
Do you feel cast into an empty sea without the safety or security of a relationship that was a key source of stability and peace?
Understanding Grief in current Culture
Our contemporary culture has no idea what to do with death and loss. Well-meaning friends can say the most infuriating things. It's common for those who are grieving to choose not to share our pain because we don’t want to burden others. We are often left in silence, feeling that if we heal from the pain, we would lose the memory of our deceased loved ones. Instead of moving through the pain, we pack our schedules tight so the pain has no time to find us. But pain ignored does not go away; it can become even more difficult to face.
Understadning Grief
Pain from the Loss of Attachment & Complicated Grief
In a culture that actively works to ignore death and pain the experience of grief can be shocking.
Pain from the Loss of Attachment
The pain of losing a friend or a loved one is deeply personal. As humans, we develop our identity by seeing others see us. Part of the role of a relationship is to hold up a mirror to our loved ones, just as they hold a mirror for us, so that we can see ourselves as loved, special, and valuable. We create rhythms of connection: holidays, birthdays, dinners every Wednesday night. We work through conflict. We tell each other hard things, and we decide to forgive. Through the years, we see ourselves as those around us see us. Those people carry parts of ourselves that we don’t even realize until they have passed. We are left holding all the memories and stories of the deceased and trying to pick up the parts of ourselves that they no longer cary for us.
Complicated Grief
Not every parent or partner who dies was loving. Complex grief sometimes arises from the fact that both parents and spouses who pass may have been abusive or neglectful. This often adds intensity to the emotions of the grieving process and creates deep confusion. This abuse might is often a family secret or a personal secret that you have not told anyone.
Our culture doesn’t know how to process a “good death,” such as dying at an old age, surrounded by loving family and without pain. How could they possibly understand the complex reality and feelings of relief, guilt, and possible PTSD responses when an abusive family member dies? Adding to the complexity, during certain seasons or moments, before they passed abusers may have exhibited a mix of good and bad behavior. It’s common to hear, “When they were sober, they were able to see you, connect with you, and show up when they said they would.”
When someone dies, we are left holding all the parts of our story, both good and bad. In that loss, knowing how to move forward often feels defacult we freeze un the uncertainty.
Trestment for Complex Grief
We want to help you by bearing witness to your pain and to the beauty of the life and relationships you had with those you have lost, and the deep complexities of grief in the midst of any interpersonal trauma.
From The Stages of Grief to A New Perspective
We used to think of grief as processed in stages, and though the stage model has helped normalize the big emotions that come after death and loss, recent research has found that a better to frame grief in the form of four tasks:
1. Accept the reality of the loss.
2. Process the pain of the loss.
3. Adjust to life without the deceased.
4. Learn a new way of living with the memory of the deceased.
It’s common to feel like a part of you dies with the death of a loved one. They knew and related to you in a way that no one else did. Let’s witness the beauty and pain together so you don’t have to bury your grief alone.
Personalized Approaches to Grief Therapy
There is no one-size-fits-all treatment for your grief. However, there are effective methods that, when applied with care and nuance to your life, can strengthen and restore your ability to process and move through the pain and complexites of death and loss. I offer the time and attention to apply general wisdom and proven methods of counseling to your specific reality.
Take the First Step
What to expect from your Consultation & therapy session
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During the initial meeting, I will conduct a comprehensive assessment to get to know you better. We’ll discuss your current concerns, emotional challenges, and goals for therapy. This session helps me tailor the therapy to your unique postpartum experience.
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Common approaches I use include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—This helps reframe negative thought patterns and build healthier coping mechanisms.
Mindfulness practices—These are techniques for staying present and managing stress through meditation or breathing exercises.
Trauma-informed therapy (TIT)—For those dealing with birth trauma or intense anxiety, TIT provides a safe space for healing.
Integration of coping strategies—We’ll work together to apply practical tools in your daily life, addressing:
Anxiety management
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I will regularly evaluate your progress. Sessions will include reflection on improvements and adjustments to strategies, ensuring you experience measurable growth over time.